I have broken all Ten Commandments. I’m a thief, a liar, a murderer, an adulterer. I have dishonored my parents, I have idols, I break the Holiness of the Sabbath. I misuse the Lord’s name and put other things before Him. And I am definitely covetous.
I have never physically murdered or never physically had an affair, nor have I erected an idol to bow down to. But as Jesus lays out for us, all these things become a matter of the heart. I have been dealing with the matter of “murder of the heart” here recently. He tells us that “if we have hate towards our brother then we have committed murder in our heart.” Let that sink in for a minute.
Murder. In. Our. Heart.
When we murder someone, they cease to exist. So when we murder in our heart, those people cease to exist to us. We have killed them off in our soul. The depth of this travesty didn’t fully hit me until this weekend. The dictionary gives the definition of murder by the Law. The part that sticks out to me (and probably fits “murder of the heart” the best) is this: murder committed with malice aforethought, characterized by deliberation or premeditation. There are other constituencies where it may be an accident, a result of another crime, self-defense, or of the non-premeditated category. Murder of the heart doesn’t occur by accident. When I choose to have hatred toward someone it is rooted within me and planned. Hatred of a brother does not occur on the spot or at random. It is a conscious effort put out by our feelings built up towards that person over time, no matter how short that time may be. It’s not like I walk into a room to find someone and say “ohh! You scared me! I hate you. Murder.” I laugh as I play this situation through in my head, but it still doesn’t take away from the fact that in order for me to hate someone; to murder them in my heart, I do it consciously and intentionally. I’m not proud of it, but I can’t deny that this is how I act. It’s hard to love the ones who rub us the wrong way, or that we just don’t see eye to eye with. But Jesus demands this attitude from us:
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even the ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. BE MERCIFUL, JUST AS YOUR FATHER IS MERCIFUL.” Luke 6:32-36 (NIV)
Yeah, about that… I just got my toes stepped on, a kick to the shins, and a punch in the gut. Gotta love it when Jesus pulls out the rhetorical questions. But as he is saying this, it is not condescending and to a point where we feel worthless and need to get our act together and fix this on our own. He is clearly encouraging us in verse 36 by telling us to be like our Heavenly Father through the mercy that we must show those that we don’t particularly care for. We aren’t supposed to do this on our own. He has to work on our hearts.
If I had to serve time for my murders of the heart, eternity without parole wouldn’t be a long enough sentence for even one conviction. But because Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice and I have an active, healthy relationship with Him, He has taken away these convictions through his blood on the cross. And because of that He is able to work in my heart and through my actions to enable me to love those that just grind my gears. None of this is of me and none of it ever will be. I am nowhere near where I need to be as far as loving my enemies and honestly I’m still working on letting the Lord do his work inside me to even get me to the point of being ready to make that commitment.
I am a law breaker. But the steadfast love (that is, the fixed in direction, firm in purpose, unwavering, firmly established, adherent love) of my Jesus WILL break me of these wrongs and, I hopefully pray, will make me love the ones I put off by my own volition.
Jon Foreman writes: “Give love to the ones who can’t love at all, give hope to the ones who got no hope at all, stand up for the ones who can’t stand at all…instead of a show, I hate all your show.” Is my show done? Will my love be genuine? If we are truly going to believe the Gospel, then we must believe it for everyone.
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