BFAM

Two of my best friends and closest brothers are probably as far away from me as one can get. I met them during my time in South Asia. They are there studying abroad because one is from Ghana and the other is from Nigeria. Both are strong followers of Christ and see this opportunity away from home as a great chance to further the Kingdom. Neither were sent by a denomination or had a commencement service before they left. Those aren't bad things, but they aren't die-hard requirements to go to other countries and take the good news. For them, it's not two different things to live life and then live for Christ. It's all tied together. I feel that so many of us separate these areas. They truly live missionally and I'm so thankful the Lord let our paths cross for four brief months. I can always count on them for prayer and encouragement and to just see how they live their lives for the Lord really lifts me up! It really is hard to be half the world apart from them but we chat on facebook, text, and even skype sometimes so that helps a bit. I'm looking forward to the day that we get to hang out again and talk about how sweeeeeet Manchester United is. I miss them every day. Here's to you, Michael and Nathaniel!

Instead of a Show

This week in Green Team Rik talked a lot about the difference between being religious and being a true Christ Follower. We walked through the beatitudes in a way I never have before (that's a whole different post in itself) and it was really eye-opening in how we are taught to truly be humble before the Lord and not seek after things of this world.

Jon Foreman's song "Instead of a Show" is one of my favorites and really portrays how we need to be different than those who are religious so I just wanted to share that with you..

Instead of a Show

I hate all your show and pretense
the hypocrisy of your praise
the hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show

Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stop up my ears when your
singing ‘em
I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood
of justice
An endless procession of righteous
living, living
Instead let there be a flood
of justice
Instead of a show

your eyes are closed when you’re praying
you sing right along with the band
you shine up your shoes for services
but there’s blood on your hands

you turned your back on the homeless
and the ones that don’t fit in your plans
quit playing religion games
there’s blood on your hands

Instead let there be a flood
of justice
An endless procession of righteous
living, living
Instead let there be a flood
of justice
Instead of a show

Ah! let’s argue this out
if your sins are blood red
let’s argue this out
you’ll be white as the clouds
let’s argue this out
quit fooling around

give love to the ones who can’t love at all
give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
stand up for the ones who can’t stand up at all
instead of a show
I hate all your show

Erase the chatter

Each night of Super Summer this year we talked about creation, the fall, the rescue, and the mission. So Monday was creation and we watched the "How Great is Our God" video where God blows everybody's mind using Louie Giglio. He begins by talking about the universe and the size of the earth compared to other starts and how far a light year is and how long it takes to reach certain places. If the earth was a golf ball, you could fill the Superdome 3000 times to equal the quantity of the largest star know to man. And if the earth was a golf ball, you would have to place it at the end of the Golden Gate Bridge and walk the span of the bridge...twice...to reach the closest star.

Geez, talk about feeling insignificant. But it doesn't end there. Louie then began to talk about birth. He showed a picture of an embryo at just a few days old. It was 16 cells on the tip of a safety pin. Then he told us how when the eye meets the nerve endings in the brain that 1,000,000 connectors from the eye have to match up with 1,000,000 connectors from the brain in perfection to achieve sight. Then as he continues to speak of different things he gets to this stuff called laminin. This is what holds cells together in the human body. Without this protein we would be a bag of mush. And the structure of it is all the more impressive:it's a cross. We are held together by a substance created by the Most High God that is shaped like the cross. I dare you to tell me that that was an accident.

So what it came down to was that we're walking miracles. For all this stuff to happen is impossible without a Creator God. And all through this the Enemy kept pushing on me and my feeling of insignificance and I remember thinking "you have been a waste of a miracle since January 25, 1987." The chatter was so loud in my head and I wanted to scream because I couldn't get rid of the noise. But in that moment, and I mean as SOON as the thought entered my mind, the Lord spoke up in the most comforting, peaceful, loving, jealous, caring, counseling, providing, strong, just, wise, conquering voice and said the two most powerful words I believe to ever be spoken:

I AM

I am a Bona Fide Law Breaker (June 13, 2010)

I have broken all Ten Commandments. I’m a thief, a liar, a murderer, an adulterer. I have dishonored my parents, I have idols, I break the Holiness of the Sabbath. I misuse the Lord’s name and put other things before Him. And I am definitely covetous.

I have never physically murdered or never physically had an affair, nor have I erected an idol to bow down to. But as Jesus lays out for us, all these things become a matter of the heart. I have been dealing with the matter of “murder of the heart” here recently. He tells us that “if we have hate towards our brother then we have committed murder in our heart.” Let that sink in for a minute.

Murder. In. Our. Heart.

When we murder someone, they cease to exist. So when we murder in our heart, those people cease to exist to us. We have killed them off in our soul. The depth of this travesty didn’t fully hit me until this weekend. The dictionary gives the definition of murder by the Law. The part that sticks out to me (and probably fits “murder of the heart” the best) is this: murder committed with malice aforethought, characterized by deliberation or premeditation. There are other constituencies where it may be an accident, a result of another crime, self-defense, or of the non-premeditated category. Murder of the heart doesn’t occur by accident. When I choose to have hatred toward someone it is rooted within me and planned. Hatred of a brother does not occur on the spot or at random. It is a conscious effort put out by our feelings built up towards that person over time, no matter how short that time may be. It’s not like I walk into a room to find someone and say “ohh! You scared me! I hate you. Murder.” I laugh as I play this situation through in my head, but it still doesn’t take away from the fact that in order for me to hate someone; to murder them in my heart, I do it consciously and intentionally. I’m not proud of it, but I can’t deny that this is how I act. It’s hard to love the ones who rub us the wrong way, or that we just don’t see eye to eye with. But Jesus demands this attitude from us:

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even the ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. BE MERCIFUL, JUST AS YOUR FATHER IS MERCIFUL.” Luke 6:32-36 (NIV)

Yeah, about that… I just got my toes stepped on, a kick to the shins, and a punch in the gut. Gotta love it when Jesus pulls out the rhetorical questions. But as he is saying this, it is not condescending and to a point where we feel worthless and need to get our act together and fix this on our own. He is clearly encouraging us in verse 36 by telling us to be like our Heavenly Father through the mercy that we must show those that we don’t particularly care for. We aren’t supposed to do this on our own. He has to work on our hearts.

If I had to serve time for my murders of the heart, eternity without parole wouldn’t be a long enough sentence for even one conviction. But because Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice and I have an active, healthy relationship with Him, He has taken away these convictions through his blood on the cross. And because of that He is able to work in my heart and through my actions to enable me to love those that just grind my gears. None of this is of me and none of it ever will be. I am nowhere near where I need to be as far as loving my enemies and honestly I’m still working on letting the Lord do his work inside me to even get me to the point of being ready to make that commitment.

I am a law breaker. But the steadfast love (that is, the fixed in direction, firm in purpose, unwavering, firmly established, adherent love) of my Jesus WILL break me of these wrongs and, I hopefully pray, will make me love the ones I put off by my own volition.

Jon Foreman writes: “Give love to the ones who can’t love at all, give hope to the ones who got no hope at all, stand up for the ones who can’t stand at all…instead of a show, I hate all your show.” Is my show done? Will my love be genuine? If we are truly going to believe the Gospel, then we must believe it for everyone.

Busy Lah!!!

This past week and this coming week are so busy! Kids camp was amazing! So many kids made decisions and it was neat to have a part in that. Today we'll head up to Jeff City for Super Summer training then on to Hannibal for Super Summer and be home LATE Friday night. Prayers would be much appreciated!!!

For now, it's World Cup time! Kinda bummed that I can't watch the USA-England match tomorrow, but it's all good.

Keep it real, Yo.

What about the ones that say no?

This week at training we talked a lot about sharing our story and praying for the lost and that their hearts would be softened. But in the middle of my prayer time, I stopped and thought to myself "what about the ones that say no?" I really don't know where I'm going with this entry. I have yet to receive an amazing revelation on the subject. But I just started thinking about it. Do we keep pursuing them in their denial? How can we relate to them better? What do we do to keep working in their lives? I never really thought about this matter before yesterday. Of course I have prayed to be burdened for the lost and have asked the Lord to give me opportunities to share, but I began to realize that I pray for one-time opportunities. I need to start asking the Lord to bring me into relationships where I can get to know the people I am trying to share with. Sure, I am totally on board with sharing my faith with people I will only see once. But is that as deep as we're supposed to go? I think not. Jesus came to seek and save the lost. Why aren't we seeking those in need of a Savior? Why do we just say "ok thanks for your time" to the ones that say no? I'm not going to shove my faith down someone's throat and force them into conversion. That's not what making disciples is about. But I will commit to pray for those who reject Christ and to build a relationship with those people to hopefully win them to the Lord.

This is something that's just been on my mind in the past 24 hours. Maybe you can gain some insight or provide some encouragement in the matter as well.

If life is an experement, then God is the Control

This week I spent Tuesday through Thursday in Hannibal, MO at Summer Missions State Training. I was kinda excited about going. It's a great time to be with fellow missionaries, see where they're serving, and prepare one's heart for service to the Lord for the summer...but the trip is SO LONG!!! But anyway, we get there and go out to eat at a really good Mexican restaurant and I'm just as happy as can be. Then I get a call from my mom. I contemplated not answering because it was probably my sister and I wouldn't be able to talk long, but I answered anyway. It was my mom calling from the ER telling me that she had Ecol i in her blood stream that was caused by a bladder infection which developed into a Kidney infection.

Needless to say, my heart dropped to my toes.

Here I am in Hannibal-freakin-Missouri, 11 hours from home, and I was totally helpless. We all rode with the boss so I had no way to get home, yet home was close enough for me to taste. When I was in Malaysia I was content with not being able to go home in an emergency because it wasn't even plausible. But here I am about two states away and home is being dangled in front of me like a cupcake on a stick tied to my forehead.

I felt so helpless Tuesday night. I had not felt home-sickness since 1st grade at church camp and now I wanted to be home more than ever. I felt like I needed that control. When something goes wrong at my house I come to the rescue.

Not this time.

I was forced to restrain my desires of taking control of the situation and totally turn it over to the Lord. My mom was a huge part of helping me realize that as well. She kept reassuring me that she was fine and needed me to stay right where I was because I am where God wants me. Her whole attitude about raising me to serve the Lord, and her being able to let me go is such a huge blessing in my life. Many people I know don't have parents like this and I am just so thankful for that. This really stretched me and challenged my faith in the Lord but in His unfailing love and infinite wisdom totally took control of the situation and taught me patience and dependence on him. My Ghanaian Brother, Michael, shared a verse that comforted me tremendously

"and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you will honor me." Psalm 50:15

I can't tell you how reassuring of the Lord's ultimate control this was. That night my small group prayed over me and over my mom and I have never had such a peace about anything before in my life. God truly reached down and comforted me and let me know He IS in control. My mom is now recovering nicely in a hospital room and should be released in the next couple days by God's grace.

When Jonathan is busy worrying and feeling helpless, "I Am." -God

Praise the Most High God for His control and consistency in our lives.