This week I spent Tuesday through Thursday in Hannibal, MO at Summer Missions State Training. I was kinda excited about going. It's a great time to be with fellow missionaries, see where they're serving, and prepare one's heart for service to the Lord for the summer...but the trip is SO LONG!!! But anyway, we get there and go out to eat at a really good Mexican restaurant and I'm just as happy as can be. Then I get a call from my mom. I contemplated not answering because it was probably my sister and I wouldn't be able to talk long, but I answered anyway. It was my mom calling from the ER telling me that she had Ecol i in her blood stream that was caused by a bladder infection which developed into a Kidney infection.
Needless to say, my heart dropped to my toes.
Here I am in Hannibal-freakin-Missouri, 11 hours from home, and I was totally helpless. We all rode with the boss so I had no way to get home, yet home was close enough for me to taste. When I was in Malaysia I was content with not being able to go home in an emergency because it wasn't even plausible. But here I am about two states away and home is being dangled in front of me like a cupcake on a stick tied to my forehead.
I felt so helpless Tuesday night. I had not felt home-sickness since 1st grade at church camp and now I wanted to be home more than ever. I felt like I needed that control. When something goes wrong at my house I come to the rescue.
Not this time.
I was forced to restrain my desires of taking control of the situation and totally turn it over to the Lord. My mom was a huge part of helping me realize that as well. She kept reassuring me that she was fine and needed me to stay right where I was because I am where God wants me. Her whole attitude about raising me to serve the Lord, and her being able to let me go is such a huge blessing in my life. Many people I know don't have parents like this and I am just so thankful for that. This really stretched me and challenged my faith in the Lord but in His unfailing love and infinite wisdom totally took control of the situation and taught me patience and dependence on him. My Ghanaian Brother, Michael, shared a verse that comforted me tremendously
"and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you will honor me." Psalm 50:15
I can't tell you how reassuring of the Lord's ultimate control this was. That night my small group prayed over me and over my mom and I have never had such a peace about anything before in my life. God truly reached down and comforted me and let me know He IS in control. My mom is now recovering nicely in a hospital room and should be released in the next couple days by God's grace.
When Jonathan is busy worrying and feeling helpless, "I Am." -God
Praise the Most High God for His control and consistency in our lives.
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